Jesus, I’m so happy this month is finally over. I have been running on fumes since Thanksgiving. My novel had taken the back burner to my job, which feeds my feelings of inadequacy, family obligations and the anniversary of my grandmother’s death. All a potent mixture that drags me down into my own personal tar pit. But now that the holiday season is winding down, and I had a few days to myself, I can breath easy again.
Now, I’m not the type of person who makes new years resolutions. I don’t really see the need in trying to commit to something new just because the year started over. I try to work on myself throughout the year. With that being said, the one goal that I made for myself this year (yes I know I just said I didn’t do these things) is to find more balance in my life. I’m one of those people to always bites off more that they can chew. I love trying new things and my house is often littered with half finished projects that often get pushed to the side when my life becomes crazy. Unfortunately, my job (special education teacher) means that my life will always be crazy. I need to find some semblance of balance with all the loves in my life.
On that note, I wish you all a Happy New Year! Here’s hoping it will be better than the last.
This year, I was able to obtain a new teaching position at the school where I already worked at as a teacher assistant. Nearing the end of the first 9 wks, I finally feel comfortable. The first three weeks felt like pure hell and I didn’t feel like a teacher at all. But now, I’ve found my groove and things have started to settle down. With that being said, many of my projects, including my novel have had to take a seat on the back burner because I needed to focus completely on figuring out just how in the world was I going to work this teaching gig. But I think I have it mostly figured out so it’s time to get back at it.
I wish I could share the pictures of my kids with you guys, they are something else. But I have to respect their privacy. However, they are the cutest little demons I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. ha ha
Oh dear lord, what a crazy two weeks. I haven’t accomplished anything and yet so much has happened to me.
I’m written up to the climax of my newest novel Time of Prophecy. I decided to take a step back and visually story board it. You see when I write it tends to play out like a movie in my head. If I’m coming up on a complex or difficult scene, I just let it run in my head and gleam information that way. It helps a little. Any who, while I was taking time out for that, the shit hit the proverbial fan…but in a good way.
As many of you may remember, I work as a Teacher’s Assistant in special needs and was working on getting my teaching license. At the end of the last school year I decided that I was going to stay in special needs. I love those kids and I love what I do. So I put out my resume. When I didn’t hear anything back I started to feel discouraged, but then I got a call from my principal. The teacher in the other classroom had left and he since he knew I was looking for a teaching position he offered me hers. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! I didn’t want to leave the school because I love everyone there and I have an awesome Special needs team. So I have all that craziness going on while I learn about the children I’m responsible for and setting my my classroom.
On top of that, I’m currently recovering from having some cysts removed from my ovaries to see if that will help me and my husband conceive. The incisions still bleed a little when I move around a lot and I’m in the itching phase of healing.
Then, on top of everything else, my husband and I are looking to purchase our first home. The market is tough and it’s proving difficult to find homes in the area we want.
It was only today that I realized that I haven’t even thought of my novel, writing, or anything else for a while now. I have to finish writing before school starts and still go through the final editing stage. I edit as I go.
I have this book, a children’s book, that I have been working on for longer than I should have. It’s not that I’m struggling with it or anything, it’s just that I don’t have a deadline for it. The thing is, I only work on it in between projects. I feel terrible about it.
You see, when I published my first book, my students were ecstatic and wanted to read it. Their little faces fell when I told them that it was an adult book and they couldn’t. They turned those puppy eyes on me and begged me to write them one they could read. Honestly, could you say no to twenty-five ten year olds?
But sadly I have been neglecting this story. It’s basically done, I just need to finish polishing it and then send it off the editor.
It’s that time of the year again! It’s time for the lovely EOGs….please note my sarcasm. I always feel so bad for the kids who have to take these tests. I see so many of them get so stressed out that they make themselves sick. Then there are those who just don’t have anymore hope left so they don’t even try. I really wish we could get rid of these types of tests. They don’t really measure what the kids actually know. Sigh, but there’s nothing I can really do except help the kids as much as possible and give them all the support and love I can.
This also means that my life right now, is a whole basket of crazy. They have switched up the class schedules so many times that neither the kids nor the teacher know which way is up. I think everyone is counting down to the last days of school. I know, I am. This year has been particularly rough. But I have to keep holding on. Not for me, but for the kids.
I’ve already started to make plans for the summer though. I would like to bike around the country side I live in and take pictures. There are a lot of old barns and houses that would just make the best paintings. I do want to paint more this summer, but we shall see what happens. I also plan to double down on Souls in the Dark so I can have it out by Aug.
I have nearly completed the first three weeks of school…
I am so, so, so, so, very tired. It already feels like I’ve been back for three months. I think coffee is the only reason why I’m still alive. But….I love seeing the children. They all grew so much over the summer. The new kindergartners are so adorable and it’s nice to be back with my work family.
I know it will take some time for me to get fully back into the swing of things, but I hope this year will be a good year!