A collection of moments

In the spirit of this pretty little picture and quote I want to talk about my recent trip up to Hanging Rock.  The plan was to go camping for a couple of days and unplug, but that didn’t pan out, so we just went hiking instead.  My husband and I invited my parents (who we were staying with) to come along and they said yes.

We decided to do the water fall trails because they were a little easier and my step father is still recovering from knee surgery.

The trail was nice and I enjoyed being out in the woods.  We reached one of the over hangings and I went up to the edge and sat down on the edge.  I was more than content to just sit there a few moments and relish the coolness of the stone benieth me, coupled with the warmth of the sun and the scent of wet earth.  But my folks wanted to take a couple of pictures and move on.  Oh well, to each their own I suppose.  When we reached the bottom where the water fall was I handed my stuff off to my hubby and climbed down to it.  My mom wanted to know what I was doing and I told her that standing under a waterfall was on my bucket list.  Now, mind you, I pictured it in some tropical location but hey, I’ll take what I can get.  My hubby soon joined me and together we stood under the chilly water.

The point of the story is this:  Live in the moment.  Take time to make memories and get the pictures on the way out.

 

Until next time my friends

Progress

My husband and I are having some fertility issues.  I went to see a specialist, and like any time you go see the doctor, they made me get on the scale.  It was a bit of a shock seeing the number I saw.  So when I got home, I swore to change.  I’ve made some adjustments and am trying to get into the swing of working out and what not.  I have to constantly remind myself that any progress I make is good.  So that brings us to the quote of the week:

 

Pull the Pieces Back Together

I had a melt down a couple of days ago.  It was pretty bad.  You see, I suffer from bouts of depression and anxiety.  They come and go with irregular frequency.  The depression doesn’t last for very long, and I have good coping mechanisms so I don’t take medication.  However, my anxieties are growing.  The reason why I’m opening up like this is because I feel like I need too.  So many people, and myself, have a hard time opening up about the darkness in our heads.  I guess there’s a sense of shame because why can’t we be happy like everyone else.  This sorta leads me up to my melt down.

I have never really been a healthy person.  The only time I was was while I served in the military and even then, it wasn’t 100% healthy.  I have some medical issues that have caused me to put on an unhealthy amount of weight and quitting smoking has also caused me to put on some pounds.  My mental issues are exasperated by my weight issues and my weight issues are exasperated by my mental issues.  See my problem here?

My only saving grace is my husband.  Honestly, I don’t think I could have pulled myself out of the black whole of self-doubt if it wasn’t for him.  He has seen me at my best and at my worst.  We are trying to have a baby but have run into complications.  Fertility medication hasn’t worked and now the doctors are going to see if all my parts are working right.  I, however, believe that my weight is a major issue, so I have begun steps to remedy that.

I’m hoping that as I fix my body physically, my mind and perhaps my soul, will also pull themselves back together.  It is an awful feeling, hating everything about yourself.  I struggle to find one thing that I like about myself everyday.  Sometimes it’s a physical thing, sometimes it’s something much deeper.  I know talking about my troubles helps tremendously but more often than not, I choose to suffer in silence because I hate to be a burden on anyone.  My husband tells me that I’m not, so I’ll have to take his word for it.

For any of you who are also suffering (civilian or veteran) please find someone that you feel like you can talk to without fear.  Hell, message me and I’ll be your shoulder.

Until next time, my peoples!

Much love